One of my go-to moves is as follows:
Let’s assume you live in an apartment or are able to connect with your house’ Wi-Fi before anyone knows you’re there. Maybe you have an Alexa or a Sonos like I do. Before you walk through the door, you are able to connect to your system of choice.
Pick out one of your top songs. You know which ones I mean. They make you feel like a king and you walk in the door like John Travolta (fast forward 6 seconds).
Fire it up. Go ahead. Don’t be shy. Turn it the fuck up and let it blast. Your significant other must already be inside. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing. Once they hear the beat drop then they know. Oh, they know.
Give it a few seconds. Make sure the song is blaring and she (or he) has that moment (just a second) of panic. What’s going on they might say before their legs start to tremble in anticipation of the big show. Daddy’s home.
At that moment you cross the doorway (fast forward to 1:30 if it doesn’t automatically):
And. It. Is On.
the counterfactual 